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A picture speaks a thousand words. That’s something we all agree on right?

 

Ok, well if a picture speaks a thousand words then… what do words say?

 

I mean… they must say something otherwise, I may as well just copy and paste the dictionary.

 

I won’t do that, I’ll produce something a little bit more coherent.

 

Welcome to my blog.

By The Cynical Optimist, Oct 14 2015 10:32PM

I wouldn’t say I have a huge amount of friends but I have some excellent ones. As I’ve grown older though, I can’t help but have a growing guilt about the way I look after my friendships. Is it just me that feels they need an assistant to rota these people in?


I’m very selfish in that I like to keep my friends separate. Dinner with the pregnant one, Box sets with the curly haired one, late night drinking with the… well all of them actually. How, are we supposed to fit all of this in to our schedule? A schedule was something I assumed only celebrities needed and now, I’m finding myself trying to calculate it via the spreadsheet in my head. Right, I must see the one up the road before the one with the new job because I saw her before the one I used to work with but I spent last weekend with the one down south so that 50% more time allotted. OH MY GOD STOP.


Why do we do it to ourselves? Friendships are supposed to be a fun relationship that we enjoy, not stress about. So I’ve decided to stop. Stop worrying. If a friendship is good, it won’t matter if you spoke yesterday or last year, you’ll pick up where you left off. If the friendship is bad, then move on.


I think the bond you have with a proper, real, legit friend is a lot like the bond you have with family. They’re your personal, exclusive, hand-picked family and you can never not love your family. It’s the rule.


I’m a rubbish friend who forgets birthdays and doesn't return calls BUT the love is real. And I feel it in my bones. This is my way of telling you.


If this has made you feel a little more loved then good and if not well… no worries mate.


And if you want to be a good friend to someone that isn't me, why not order a personalised gift through PolyWood Studios? (Sorry, had to get the link in somewhere!)


By The Cynical Optimist, Jul 28 2015 10:09PM

So here’s one for you, a while back I was in Bristol. I happened to be alone, waiting for a friend. We were just coming out of the winter so it was bitterly cold and blowing a gale. I had nowhere to really go so I decided to walk around town, I passed a man. Huddled up in the corner of the doorway, quite obviously freezing. Poor soul. I carried on into town. Mooched around for a bit then headed back the same way. He was still there. Still freezing. I thought, I can’t just walk past again. So I went into a Subway and bought him a hot sandwich and a cup of tea. I thought to myself, I am such a good person, this is really kind, how lovely of me!


I made my way over to said freezing man, “excuse me sir, I hope you don’t mind, I’ve bought you a sandwich and a tea” He looked up at me, “I don’t eat wheat” I’m astounded. “Um, sorry what?” “I. Don’t. Eat. Wheat.” “Oh um right, sorry. Err well there’s a tea as well..” “Got one” I see. “Oh right well um, I’ll just err, I’ll just be on my way then” No reply. No nothing.


I had to awkwardly, walk away from him with my unwanted sandwich and cup of tea feeling like a right idiot. How could I have gone from feeling elevated to feeling embarrassed? Honestly I just couldn’t believe it. I thought THAT’S IT! NO MORE! No more good deeds. I’m not going out of my way to help anyone EVER AGAIN. Then about 2 minutes later another freezing man approached me “Spare any change?” “No I can’t but you can have a bloody sandwich and a cup of tea!” Freezing man #2 couldn’t believe his luck! I swiftly forgot about my ban on good deeds there and then.


Seriously though, how good does it feel, to do something good? Helping a single mum up the stairs with her pram without her asking, calling your Nan before you go round in case she needs some shopping, sending an email to the shy one at work to check they’re alright – all these little bits of kindness can inspire the next person to do something nice – isn’t that nice?


And it doesn’t have to be anything big, a man handed me a paper this morning when he picked up his own, that was sweet and made my morning just a little bit better. Sometimes, just saying nice things can brighten someone’s day. I like that top, thank you for helping me yesterday, would you like a cup of tea since you’re busy etc. Teeny tiny things but that little kindness could pull someone out of a bad mood, make them realise that there is lightness in the world. This is a sickly sweet blog post – apologies.


But you know what I mean. It’s nice to be nice. And if we’re all 1% nicer to each other tomorrow then that’s a start isn’t it?


Also, if anyone wants to bring me a cup of tea/sandwich/sports car tomorrow morning that would be really, REALLY nice.

Musings of The Cynical Optimist...

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